Tips for the Newly Engaged
I've had a few requests to write a post covering what I've learnt during my engagement to Simon. We've been engaged for almost a year now, Simon proposed to me whilst we were in Budapest in the beginning of June last year. If you'd like to read the post I wrote about that very special trip click right here. This blog post isn't necessarily going to be about how to plan your wedding (although, I will be covering how we planned ours soon) instead I'm going to talk about the engagement period and how to make the most of it. Chances are your relationship will grow and change during this exciting time and I thought it would be useful to share my experiences.
Some things need organising right now.
It might seem too soon but there are a few wedding related decisions that you'll have to make ASAP. During the first two months of being engaged I was shocked to find that all the wedding venues I liked were booked up for the next two years. If you don't mind getting married mid-week this won't be a problem for you but expect that it's going to be hard to book a popular venue on a Saturday. As things turned out we're actually getting married at my sister's house but not everyone is as fortunate to have that as an option. I would also start to look at dresses, flowers, photographers and caterers at least 12 months before the big day.
It's going to be emotional and difficult.
A big life change can have a strange effect on relationships, I was surprised at how some people reacted to the news. Both Simon and I had to cope with people who were either acting as though they didn't support the marriage or who were just generally annoying! Our relationship has changed too, I always thought that no-matter what happens with Simon we would just get on with things and love each other the same amount as always. Our relationship has become so much deeper and stronger, I feel a bond with him that I didn't expect. We're definitely more of a team now. That's not to say that it's all been plain sailing, we've had a few weird fights (usually me loosing confidence about things) but he's proven to me over and over again that he loves me no matter what. Geeze, what a guy!
You gotta do you boo.
You can make your wedding suit you perfectly, you don't need to listen to other people if you don't want to. If you really want something, make it so! Some people want big white weddings, some people elope. Weddings are such a personal journey so please don't feel pressured to go one way or the other. I'm sure that I've made choices that some people don't agree with. I've heard a lot of "wait, you're not having wedding favours?", "you're not going to serve tea and coffee in the evening?" "you're not having a DJ?". Just do what you want!
You might burst with happiness
I'm a very emotional person, I have a lot of feelings. However, I don't think I'm alone when I say that any important life event leaves you feeling all sorts of wonderful emotions. I still get huge waves of happiness and excitement when I think about marrying Simon, which is wonderful as it helps to balance out the huge waves of stress and dread when I think about everything I still have to organise.
This has to be my top tip. I had no idea how decisive a person I was until I was faced with countless options regarding the wedding. Here's the thing, you'll have a lot of lovely things to choose from but they're all lovely so just choose quickly and tick it off your list. As an example, when we went to meet the wedding cake designer we just went for the first thing that we liked and boom it was done. There's no point stressing over all the decision making, so what if you love five invite designs? Just pick one of them and move on to the other 100 decisions you have to make!
You'll be really busy, then quiet, then busy again.
The first few months saw all the really fun stuff. Venue, tick. Dress, tick. Flowers, tick. Caterer, tick. Marquee, tick. Then there was a massive lull in activity, I almost forgot that I was getting married. As soon as Christmas was over it was all hands on deck as the "oh heck we're getting married this year" kicked in. Right now I'd say I'm at 80% business / stress level but I'm sure it will all be worth it.
Take time out away from the wedding chat.
Weddings are hard to organise, I don't care what anyone says. If I hear "but it's just a big party" one more time I might have to punch my pillow. But, no matter how worried you are about your big day just focus on the reason you're getting married and take time out with that person away from all the wedding stress. Do things that you've always done together and try not to bring up anything wedding related for a least a day.
Once we're actually married, two months until the London wedding and three until the Scottish one, I'll definitely be writing posts about my whole wedding process. I hope that, for now, this post will suffice and bring you a little advice.
Some things need organising right now.
It might seem too soon but there are a few wedding related decisions that you'll have to make ASAP. During the first two months of being engaged I was shocked to find that all the wedding venues I liked were booked up for the next two years. If you don't mind getting married mid-week this won't be a problem for you but expect that it's going to be hard to book a popular venue on a Saturday. As things turned out we're actually getting married at my sister's house but not everyone is as fortunate to have that as an option. I would also start to look at dresses, flowers, photographers and caterers at least 12 months before the big day.
It's going to be emotional and difficult.
A big life change can have a strange effect on relationships, I was surprised at how some people reacted to the news. Both Simon and I had to cope with people who were either acting as though they didn't support the marriage or who were just generally annoying! Our relationship has changed too, I always thought that no-matter what happens with Simon we would just get on with things and love each other the same amount as always. Our relationship has become so much deeper and stronger, I feel a bond with him that I didn't expect. We're definitely more of a team now. That's not to say that it's all been plain sailing, we've had a few weird fights (usually me loosing confidence about things) but he's proven to me over and over again that he loves me no matter what. Geeze, what a guy!
You gotta do you boo.
You can make your wedding suit you perfectly, you don't need to listen to other people if you don't want to. If you really want something, make it so! Some people want big white weddings, some people elope. Weddings are such a personal journey so please don't feel pressured to go one way or the other. I'm sure that I've made choices that some people don't agree with. I've heard a lot of "wait, you're not having wedding favours?", "you're not going to serve tea and coffee in the evening?" "you're not having a DJ?". Just do what you want!
You might burst with happiness
I'm a very emotional person, I have a lot of feelings. However, I don't think I'm alone when I say that any important life event leaves you feeling all sorts of wonderful emotions. I still get huge waves of happiness and excitement when I think about marrying Simon, which is wonderful as it helps to balance out the huge waves of stress and dread when I think about everything I still have to organise.
Be decisive.
This has to be my top tip. I had no idea how decisive a person I was until I was faced with countless options regarding the wedding. Here's the thing, you'll have a lot of lovely things to choose from but they're all lovely so just choose quickly and tick it off your list. As an example, when we went to meet the wedding cake designer we just went for the first thing that we liked and boom it was done. There's no point stressing over all the decision making, so what if you love five invite designs? Just pick one of them and move on to the other 100 decisions you have to make!
You'll be really busy, then quiet, then busy again.
The first few months saw all the really fun stuff. Venue, tick. Dress, tick. Flowers, tick. Caterer, tick. Marquee, tick. Then there was a massive lull in activity, I almost forgot that I was getting married. As soon as Christmas was over it was all hands on deck as the "oh heck we're getting married this year" kicked in. Right now I'd say I'm at 80% business / stress level but I'm sure it will all be worth it.
Take time out away from the wedding chat.
Weddings are hard to organise, I don't care what anyone says. If I hear "but it's just a big party" one more time I might have to punch my pillow. But, no matter how worried you are about your big day just focus on the reason you're getting married and take time out with that person away from all the wedding stress. Do things that you've always done together and try not to bring up anything wedding related for a least a day.
Once we're actually married, two months until the London wedding and three until the Scottish one, I'll definitely be writing posts about my whole wedding process. I hope that, for now, this post will suffice and bring you a little advice.